Learning what you are not

I started painting in high school and identified strongly as a portrait painter, NOT a landscape painter. I was serious about this, damnit! I would put in my time on the background of the painting like eating my vegetables so I could skip to dessert - the portrait. This preference was so strong that it often blocked me from working on a painting.

Since making art more consistently, I have discovered:

1. I actually enjoy painting landscapes
2. One is not better than the other. Or as Paul Reps said, "each is best.

As usual, the next step involved getting out of my own way!

I love my little painting, Bromance, and how it toes the line of landscape and portrait:

Ganesh and Writer's Block

What does it take to move through blocks in your creative projects? In yourself?

Ganesh writing Mahabharata (2014)

The image of Ganesh holding his tusk will always stir my soul. He broke it off during a non-stop writing project, to keep his commitment to write even when his pen broke. Ganesh and the sage Vyasa had a deal - as long as Vyas told his story, Ganesh would transcribe. This story is told in the Mahabharata, an ancient Indian epic.

This was one of the first paintings I made while living at Shoshoni Yoga Ashram. It was incredible how many creative blocks - self-doubt, criticism, fear - showed up during the process! As the lord of obstacles, Ganesh embodies the energy of moving around and through blocks. A key thing here is MOVING - keep momentum in any form. In this and many of my paintings, there is flowing water in the background to indicate creative flow.

I heard recently that when Einstein had a block in his scientific work, he would stop and play the violin. This strategy allowed him to create a flow in another outlet and then infuse it into his work.

As a meditator, I find that blocks in my work are related to a block in myself. I am so lucky for my meditation training at Shoshoni that I know how to look within, take a conscious breath, and release the tensions in me that block my flow.

How do you flow through your creative blocks?

Are you creating or consuming?

Were you born and raised in consumer culture? Me too. It feels like  I have to carve my creative self out of a dense consumer shell. Sometimes my desire to have a milkshake and be a couch potato is so strong!

For me, creativity is stepping up to my life. It is not a one-time job. Each new day craves creative effort. I find that an uphill feeling is the norm, and a downhill ride is a treat! And so is the occasional milkshake ;)

Sometimes being creative is expansive, easy and revelatory, other times it is like an ox plowing the field – slow methodical digging that does not appear to end. But it does, and then you have a breakthrough!

So many things we do can be creative:

• Listening and being present with someone
• Making food and house cleaning
• Running a business and working with focus
• Exercise
• Relationships and parenting
• And last but not least, MAKING ART!

What do you do to be creative?

It's time to break the rules

Sometimes I'm just dying under the weight of these rules. Not anyone else's rules - my stupid rules. The boundaries I place on myself. The rigid definitions and impossible principles that are holding me back in my creativity and happiness.

Elizabeth Gilbert had a great metaphor about this in her book Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear (Highly recommended!). She talks about the martyr and the trickster. The martyr puts themselves on a pedestal of principles where they are bound and tied, a clear target and easy shot. The trickster, however, sneaks around, seeks out the opening in a situation, and has fun in the process. Gilbert talks about the martyr on the front lines dying for their cause while the trickster starts a profitable black market on the sides of the battle.

It's time for this martyr to break the rules and get a little tricksy. Here are some rules I broke recently and had a BREAKTHROUGH in my art:

 1. Don't make the same painting twice.  From left to right, a copy of the tiny bamboo bookmark that inspired the paintings, first version 2014 and second version 2017.

 2.  Don't copy someone else's painting. Top row: Robert Beer's Milarepa drawing and Faith Stone's. Bottom row: unknown Milarepa thangka and my thangka.

3.  Don't paint from photographs. My photo on left the inspired the painting on right. I have also copied a Georgia O'Keefe painting in the background ;)

How have you broken YOUR rules lately? 

Creative Flow & Plateau

Don't you love being in the flow? Smooth sailing, a sense of focus and purpose - it is the best! And then you hit a wall. BUT, the wall is actually part of a plateau that leads up to our next level of work and growth.

My dad was a professional musician, and he would say that the more he progressed at music, the longer the plateaus were between levels. I can really relate this to the process of growing spiritually in my meditation practice. My teacher describes the process of spiritual death and rebirth as we grow, and how hitting the wall is a normal part of the process. Otherwise how would we transcend?

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After finishing the highly detailed Milarepa painting, I needed to prime my creative pump with a simple painting. So, I chose this lovely dancing Nepalese Shiva that I had painted before. Here they are side be side. Milarepa had been so amazing to work on, in a pain-staking kind of way. I spent about 3 hours on the nimbus, or halo around his head. Shiva, on the other hand, was pure paint-by-number delight! I could relax and get the flow going.

It is so essential for me to keep my creative momentum with regular art-making and meditation. Then the wall is easier to scale!

How do you find your creative flow?

Why make art and meditate?

This past weekend, Deepak and I facilitated a Shambhava Meditation Teacher Training intensive at Chi-town Shakti in Chicago. It was so wonderful to reaffirm the WHY behind my practice and spend time in the nourishment of meditation.

The amazing Meditation Teacher Training Grads at Chi-Town Shakti!

It takes a lot of courage to go within and sit with yourself, especially on a consistent basis. There are a million compelling reasons to fix the world around us and avoid sitting. I remember being a new meditator and the eternity of chanting a mala of mantra and sitting for twenty minutes. I was in denial about what inner skills I actually had, which were pretty weak.

My meditation practice has shown me that the challenges of life have a root in me. Fortunately, the solutions are also within, as is the fulfillment we are seeking in life. When I sit to meditate, I become present and open to experience the Inner Self, the goal of meditation that is a natural part of who we are. Meditation is a process of relaxing into this experience while releasing the things that obscure it: the tensions and emotions of the mind and reactions to our lives. This process of release is what my teacher calls surrender.

Reconnected to the purpose of my practice, I was so refreshed to return to teaching yoga after the meditation training.

Why do you meditate?

Part of the Creative Process

Through making art as part of my lifestyle, I see recurring stages in the creative process. It has helped me to see these stages happening so I can stay in the flow and move through the harder parts of the process. These steps translate to many creative areas  in my life: business, relationships, fitness, yoga and meditation.

1.     Ideas and inspiration – this part is easy! There are so many possibilities and inspiration feels uplifting overall. If I have a block about what to make, it is important to choose something to do even if it is a compromise. You can always do another painting. I usually save inspiring images on my phone or hang them around my studio for my later projects.

2.     Begin the project – This can be challenging because the vastness of inspiration is being funneled into something concrete. Over time, I have learned how to begin a project to the point that this has a flow. It is just one step at a time:

a.     Gather supplies and references

b.     Sketch and transfer images

c.      Paint flat colors in the painting – this part is so fast and gratifying!

3.     Development and refinement – Definitely the uphill part of the process! Usually, I don’t already have the skills to do what I envision, so I have to learn and earn those skills. The first part of this process is somewhat grueling, and then as the skills become stronger, the process accelerates and is easier to complete. In general, I paint from the background to the foreground. This generates momentum because the background is usually larger than the foreground. Also, I am usually more excited about painting the subject or foreground: it is like eating your veggies and having dessert later. :)

4.     Refinement and completion – This phase usually has a downhill momentum as the steps that need to be completed are clear. Details often take more time than I was expecting, but it is a clear process. For me, finishing a painting is usually quick and anti-climactic in a good way.

5.     Hang and enjoy – Now you get to live with the art! Or give it to someone else to live with. It has a life of its own. I will usually notice things that can be improved, but I try to relax with this saying: “finished, not perfect.” The creative energy of this process lives in the painting and inspires the next wave in my life.

How do you experience creative process in your life?